other.txt

if you're looking for appreciation, concern, compassion,
care, someone to notice your pain, to think your pain
is important ... if that's what you're longing for, well,
let me tell you something - you've gotten your wires crossed.
you do not need other people for that. and in fact you shouldn't
need other people for that. any relationship you get into
with someone where the primary thing you're getting from them
is one of those things, because you can't provide yourself
with them - that's called codependency and it's toxic. it
makes no sense. it would be like someone who felt as though
they couldn't feed themselves and needed someone to do it
for them. if they're parapalegic, sure. but if they weren't,
if their arms worked, if their nervous system worked, if
they were perfectly capable of grabbing a fork, pressing it
into food, raising it to their mouths, opening, chewing,
swallowing ... but for some reason believed someone else
had to do it, feed them ... well, that person is mistaken,
and is acting kind of strange ... you do not need someone
to feed you, you are perfectly capable of doing it yourself.
same with compassion, same with sympathy, concern, interest,
love, respect, appreciation ... those are things you are
perfectly capable of proving for yourself. if you're looking
for other people to provide those for you ... because that's
the only way you think you can get those things ... you somewhere
along the line got things terribly mixed up. you can love, you
can appreciate, you can have interest, you can respect, you can
show concern, sympathy, compassion ... you're perfectly capable
of giving those things to others, and to yourself ...

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